The Early Brain is Built with Love
Did you know that love builds healthy brains?
I find it important to spread this message, especially when it involves discussing early literacy and the lifelong learning of individuals. When the brain is anxious, it cannot learn. Calming a young child’s brain and body with love is the key to transforming lives and improving student outcomes around the world.
Fancy curriculums, professional development, assessments, and the like are not what research says will make the most impact. Love and connection are the answer—and they’re free. Isn’t that good news? Love builds healthy brains and transforms lives.
Yet, it’s something many children are not receiving at home or in child care settings. If love is the answer, what can we do to ensure all children receive it?
Getting to the Heart of the Matter
There are many things that prevent caregivers from sharing love with the children in their lives. Perhaps the number one deterrent is stress. Caregivers who are struggling just to survive in a society that continues to raise the prices of basic essentials—food, shelter, transportation, etc.—often lack the emotional capacity to share genuine, loving connections with young children.
A mother coming home after working overnight at a second job may struggle to engage in loving moments with her child. A grandparent who still has to work well past retirement age to care for their grandchildren may have difficulty managing their own emotional well-being, let alone creating nurturing experiences for little ones.
If We Know Love Builds Brains, What Should Stakeholders Be Doing?
Now this is a biggie—and perhaps the missing link behind all the circling around and poor allocation of financial supports in our communities.
I continually sit in meetings with stakeholders that reveal a deep lack of understanding around what is truly needed. And although well-intentioned, the supports they often offer are rooted more in domination and control than in love.
How can we expect caregivers and early educators to build loving connections within a system that lacks compassion—or even basic interest—in making meaningful ones?
And furthermore: if love is all it takes, why are so many children still struggling in school, especially those in communities facing poverty and violence?
In my role as an Early Childhood Consultant and Community Engagement Advisor for Gift Connect—a global initiative building programs and supports that invite loving connection and community healing—I’m helping design a framework for community empowerment that places the people we serve at the center of leadership.
Only through this model of advocacy, autonomy, and care can we begin to truly disrupt the systems that continue to perpetuate harm against the working class and survivors of oppression.
How to Inject Love in Early Education Supports
Love is so simple. It is selfless and compassionate. It is thoughtful and genuine and here is where I believe we should start:
Invest in Caregiver Well-being First - This means long-term, sustained supports that allow people to feel wholeness in their bodies after trauma. Now that we are trauma-informed, let’s become healing-informed. Our communities need access to mental health visits, mindfulness coaching, wellness-based retreats, and spaces that offer real care—now more than ever.
Focus on Connections Rather Than Compliance - Fund programs led by community members who already have trust with the people they serve. Genuine relationships are the foundation—and those leaders deserve the training and resources to scale their impact. A trickle down of loving connections is needed and starts from the top down.
Train Early Educators on the Importance of Building the Brain - Every educator needs a chance to reconnect to their why. A safe space to reflect on their own brain development during their formative years and how they can break the cycle of trauma. This should happen in safe, nonjudgmental environments—within a supportive village of peers they trust and feel inspired by. Please note: This opportunity crosses race and socio-economics, this should be offered to everyone working with young children. Learning how to build brains should feel like a calling, not a checklist.
The Family Voice Is Missing, Let's Ask Them What They Need - We need to amplify the voice of the family and truly listen to their challenges. For example, we might funnel funding into brain development home visits, when what a family really needs is support with addiction recovery, grief, or food security. Support must be relational and responsive—not one-size-fits-all.
There is so much more to say on this topic. Perhaps a part two is necessary as I continue to reflect on where we are in the work of promoting early brain development in communities that have been strategically neglected.
Love builds healthy brains—and love creates just systems. I often wonder if those who continue to promote systems over love are even aware of their role in upholding the status quo… and whether they too feel disempowered by it?
That’s a question only each person can answer.
I do believe the solutions already live within the communities being served. That’s where I choose to focus: on creating safe, loving environments where real connection can take root and grow.
When love is present, transformation happens—not as a project or program, but as a natural byproduct of care. Not to generate more data or funding cycles—but to restore what has always belonged to us.